Am I right, is he, or are we both?

Hi all,

I'll try to make this a short history but it's quite multifaceted.

So my boyfriend and I are 5 years together next month.. He's 41 and I'm 26.

Since we got together at first we found out that we were doing everything together and he was very embarrassed about me paying thing as he was not only 'the man' but also 15 years older.. But he was recently divorced and paying his ex for their kids so naturally he had less spare money than I did.

So we decided to share our accounts.. Fastforward a year and we're moving in together, by that time I'd spent my youth savings on his kids' holiday presents, on our computer, our car..

So we're both working and I'm starting to feel like all our money is going to him and his kids.. I took on a few loans that I feel uncomfortable with because he convinced me we needed them. I calculated and even with all the loans and utilities and food we should be having 1400€ left over at the end of every month considering a cost of 750€ on food (which is way more than plenty) but unfortunately all our money is gone all the time. We can't even make it until the end of the month.

And I told him I wanted our accounts seperated because I'm so frustrated and mentally overwhelmed for not ever doing something nice or fun for myself. All I do is work and take care of his kids and when they aren't here I'm still doing their laundry and their ppwks.

He has agreed on it but he's very hurt about it because he thinks I want to save so I can leave him.

But I'm doing it to save our relationship.

Even though.. Preventing it so I can't leave him if I want to is so much worse.. It's more like he needs that leverage to keep me.. That makes me feel like I'm a prisoner.