So let me start by saying that I have been in love with this guy since we were kids and we have dated off an on since middle school and it never works out due to him being an addict so I tried to move in with my life found a guy I thought I loved got married and started a family but I shouldn’t have... he’s not the one for me but the guy I truly love we can never be together and it honestly kills me every day but I’m stuck with my husband for the sake of our kids I know I’m ganna get tons of hate for this that’s expected but I’m really just looking for advice on how to force myself to be happy with my husband cause he’s my only option

Edit: I will say this I do have love for my husband I’m just not in love with him the way I am with the other guy we do have a loving marriage just at the end of the day he’s not the one I’m in love with and I tried leaving once but it was so hard on my husband not seeing his kids everyday and it was hard on the kids as well so that’s why I want to figure out how to force muse to be happy