I miss this guy :(

So me and this guy have been friends for about 4 school year now. I've looked him "on and off" (I'm pretty sure I never stopped liking him despite telling others I don't like him anymore). But at the beginning of this school year, without saying a single word to me over the summer, he decided he didn't want to be friends with me and it friends group. Ive gone into really deep thoughts about it for the past two month and he's the last thing on my mind every night before I sleep. Probably why I have frequent dreams of him. But it's never been sexual. I just love him passionately as a friend I think but I miss him so much that it gives me self doubting thoughts all the time :'(((