Why won’t he be consistent??? **this is mostly a rant but i could also really use some advice**

I’ve been living with my bf for a year, and recently my PTSD has been causing a lot more panic attacks than it usually does. I’m seeing a therapist to try to work through it, and i’m definitely NOT trying to depend on my bf to feel better but sometimes he’s just SO unhelpful????? like he acts annoyed when i want to hear his voice or have him near me when i warn that a panic attack is starting or he’s just so nonchalant about the fact that my brain forgets how to function and i can’t process any emotions but fear and it makes me feel like absolute GARBAGE. especially when half of the time he’s super attentive and doting and so willing to help when one hits. There’s not a pattern, either. He’s either really nice or really harsh about it and there’s not an in between. I’ve tried multiple times to tell him how bad it makes me feel when he acts like he doesn’t care or like he’s annoyed when I have an attack but he always replies with “i’m not acting annoyed” or “i’m not doing anything” and completely brushes it off which just adds to the frustration.

He was on the phone with me when the traumatic event occurred last year and always says how upset he is that he wasn’t there to save me from it, so I guess I would think that he’d be more understanding when the anxiety sets in, but he so often acts like he doesn’t care that it really hurts my feelings and makes me feel like I don’t matter..

What can I do? Is there a way I can make him listen? Should I just not let him help me when he’s feeling attentive so that I don’t get let dow on the days he doesn’t care?

Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to get it all off of my chest and get third party opinions.

Since some of y’all apparently can’t read and i’m trying to remain anonymous 🙂 i clearly stated that i AM IN THERAPY, trying to work through this and that I am not “putting pressure on him to make me feel better” I am just tired of him being there and then not, and tired of his attitude putting me down. Not that I am obligated to share my trauma with any of you,, but if you’re going to make me sound like i’m whining over nothing,, I DO feel more comfortable when he is there when I go into the attacks because I was RAPED on a vacation I went on without him. So having him near calms something in my subconscious. but thank you for your negative 2 cents, Cheyenne 🙂