How to help my husband

So my husband and I have been together over 10 years...married 7. We have a beautiful baby boy, we have a good life.

Ever since I met my husband I always noticed he has "down" moments. Over hes super negative (always about himself) I always knew it was a type of depression...but must have been super light. This past year...

We moved to a completely different city with new jobs, new people. We got scammed within 4 months of living there about 4,000 was stolen out of our accounts...basically all the cash we had. Fast forward a year...we found out I was pregnant...which at the time we were both not happy because we definitely were not planning on kids...esp at that point in our life. But very quickly we became excited. Within the 2 month of my pregnancy we almost lost the baby...scared my husband very much and he was a nervous wreck throughout the remainder of my pregnancy. During birth was hard on him....he was afraid of something going terribly wrong. His brother also best friend was in the room with us for support. I ended up going thru 20 hrs of labor w/o meds or anything hooked up and gave birth to out 8lbs 10 oz son. So...after that long med free labor we were both tired but my son had breathing issues. After being sent home we had to return to the ER just a day later and we were in the hospital about 36 hrs. My husband and I went 3 full days without sleep we were both so worried.

When our son was 6 months old...we bought a house. A house that need work. My husband had been in construction for 18 years so hes very talented...but this house has a walk out basement. We went in on a deal with his aging parents....we would buy the house, make the basement into a 2 bedroom apt for his parents to move in...the deal was my husband do the work...and his dad pay for it. It was a great deal...the stressful part was....we had to get our upstairs and the basement apt all done in 7 months so they can move in! Plus just having a baby. My poor husband went to work doing construction during the day, then would come home at night and work till 1am during the week and work all day on weekends...but he did it without much help and he has 3 other brothers 😔🙄. It's all finished and everyone is moved in. So now that's all done...but earlier this spring when he was almost done with the house he went into the dark place. Hes super unhappy with himself, says hes worthless, not there enough for me and our son because hes working to much on the house, and hes fat, and pathetic. My husband is the most amazing man, so hard working and never thinks bad about other people. It's how he looks at himself. he thinks there is no value in his existence. And it doesnt matter how much I tell him its depression or no one feels that way about him...it doesnt make a difference. I was very very worried about him. He would just breakdown and cry. So during this depression he was going thru....his good friend committed suicide. 😭😢 his friend switched to a different depression med without weaning off the other one and killed himself within a week...now my husband don't even hear about going to a dr and getting help. So over the summer....I noticed he was alot happier because the work was done. We were hiking, swimming, biking a lot and he was so happy...now...hes going into that dark place again.. due to more work and stress that came up. on top of drinking more. Last night I asked him if we could take him to a dr...he said "no". Then I asked if I need to worry about his depression..he said "I dont think so." Then a few hours later he asked me what's the most peaceful way to die. Girls! Please help. Give any advice you have! I love my husband and it breaks my heart that I feel so helpless. Hes my best friend...I need to help him.