It’s been a hard year, well hard few years but this one is the hardest I’ve faced. I read a poem on here and it inspired me to share one of my own.

I put others before myself, becoming submissive in the most important and least noticeable ways.

I made it a habit to give in when things get hard, to go limps and float in the current. I guess it’s a form of self preservation, my whole life when a situation happens. I freeze, and when I’m broken.

When I’m down on my knees begging all the people I put over myself, to lend me a hand. They refuse to give me even just the hand I lent them, because I always feigned strength so in their eyes I’m incapable of weakness. Incapable of doing anything but ripping myself apart for them, and sitting on my ass.

Little do they know, or much to their knowledge you can only give so much.

I gave them my feet so they could stand, my voice so they can speak up for themselves, gave my hands so they may work.

I gave my time so they can spend theirs elsewhere, I gave my heart so they can love and my spine so they have support.

Now I’m left a pile of flesh and bone, where the birds come to pick at my remains while I’m asleep. Now that I’ve helped everyone, now that I’ve played the hero they needed me to be and gave all of myself away. Who here to build me up, or even whisper encouragement into ear.

Who’s here to hear me scream?

Stupid question, because it’s me and the echo of my cries bounces around my body. Never loud enough to leave, because for every broken part of someone I fixed. Their broken part became mine, now I hurt in all the ways that nearly drove others insane.

But I’m strong, I’m the superhero and all superhero’s die for the people around them.