I hate feeling so empty and numb...

I don’t even know where to begin but I had a baby 11 months ago and I hate myself...like I have 0 self love or confidence and to top it off my husband and I have been arguing and not having any type of physical contact and I find out he’s been watching porn and it’s a huge slap in the face..I feel so disgusting if we were actually physical and he watched porn I wouldn’t be so distraught over it but considering I feel like he’s not attracted to me and now he’s watching porn makes me feel worse..💔 advice?