! This is embarrassing 😕

we’ve been together for 5 years, engaged for 11 months (where my diamond had unfortunately fell out - luckily I found it 🙃... but that’s was 8 months ago it has yet to get fixed . It’s an heirloom)

Basically since I’ve gotten with him I noticed he was very careless with his money. I had a lot of faith in him and fell in love with the potential... since year one he has been extremely financially irresponsible. I can understand if we’re rubbing pennies but he makes 90k a year. And I make anywhere from 20k-25k yr. while I worked I’d pay cable, con Ed, purchase the Toiletries, food etc. his responsibility was 1k rent and his phone bill... and he’d help with food..

we had received an eviction notice in 2016. And my mouth hit the floor. I left him bc of this... this has never happened to me before ..

he has a weed habit that I thought he had under control. It was clear he was spending and purchasing weed and not caring - clearly. I took him back with hopes of change, but unfortunately we’re still here. We now have a baby boy. He is 1. I stood home for a year while he claimed to be able to take care of us ( he makes enough to cover it all - our bills are cheap for his income ) but after I used my income taxes to help him with the rent and bring everything up to date he allowed everything to fall behind once again.

Fast forward - I work again...i make much less but it helps with my sanity and to do extra things with my baby ..I pay all of day care all the while still helping anyway I can while trying to still be a human myself and cater to my needs as well but I’m always so broke... no matter what we’re always behind. But he always has weed Never been without.

I’ve approached him about this before and every year , talk after talk fight after fight we’re still here. I even wrote him a letter 4 months ago. Don’t really know how else to get through this. I want to leave him, I’m nervous , I’m confused, I’m disappointed... I feel like he doesn’t care about our son. Or our livelihood.. With what he makes we should not be behind on anything. The con Ed , rent and cable will always have to be paid whether I live here or not - they will be his responsibility then. How can we owe con Ed upwards of 700$, cable upwards of 500$ ...?? I haven’t even looked into the phones.. and the landlord also said were behind ( I called)

** I just started working again 5 weeks ago took a year as SAHM couldn’t deal with not being able to leave the house bc I was so broke didn’t want to take my son out with absolutely no money **

The worst part is he was hiding the service interruption bills and also has been taking random careless days off.

**hes not cheating I’ve checked phone account and bills**

* he is loving sometimes, but mostly abrasive and quiet he doesn’t like communicating- we are total opposites He’s an introvert and I’m an outgoing woman. We used to mesh but now with these issues we don’t seem too*

He also did everything he could to try n keep me home and still does. If I wanna go out to lunch he will say “don’t you think you should save since you just started working ?” Oh I should save hmmmm??

Idk I’m lost, I want better for my son. I called off the engagement

If you made it this far thank you. 🙁