Feel so low & disgusted at myself don’t recognise myself, feel like a failure as a mother & wife 😢 hair fall, excess weight, hourly night feeds @ 5 months PP

Hey Mamas

I wanted somewhere to write how I feel and maybe someone is in the same boat as me or has been and maybe understand how I feel.

I am nearly 5 months post partum and EBF the journey has been hard but worthwhile to see my little munchkin blossom. Since hitting 4 months baby wakes every 1-2 hours to feed, she fusses till morning and is fine feeding in the day. The nights have been so hard but luckily I have a great husband so I can manage.

My husband is a saint he does the cooking motivates me and helps with baby so I can sleep a couple of hours. We also have a three year old who my husband helps with. I feel like a failure of a mother having to depend on my husband so much. Feel like as a mother & wife I should be able to do it all. Just a horrible guilty feeling constantly chews at me everyday 😭 hard to explain.

I feel grossed out at the excess 10lbs I am carrying, hair is falling out feel like I have nothing left. This really stresses and upsets me.

Feel grossed out when I look at myself embarrassed to show my face to anyone.

I talk to my husband who listens and reassures it will be ok and is affectionate 🤗 I just feel like i don’t deserve him he is too good.

I don’t want to talk to the doctors about PPD I feel I have come this far alone I can do the rest hopefully. I have no family parents or siblings to speak to. Best friend is busy with her own family.

I just feel isolated and alone on this journey at the moment 😔

Thank you to anyone who has read this sorry it is such a depressing post.