I NEED HELP

I need help effectively disciplining my 2 year old. He hits, not to be malicious but is just rough when playing(he is usually acting like captain America or something) my friend watches him while I work 10+ hours 4 days a week. She has a little girl and my son is just rough with her. They love each other and she takes amazing care of my son but he goes to his dad's every other weekend and when he comes back it takes him FOREVER to get back into our normal routine/discipline. We usually do time outs and they work but not when he gets back from dad's. Dad let's him be rough and watch violent movies and do whatever he wants and he spanks him if hes in trouble. Complete opposite of our house. Dad does have anger issues and doesn't pay our son very good attention sometimes. I think hes doing it for more attention but he can't keep hitting even if its playful. I'm at the end of my rope and close to losing child care I can afford. 😭😭 I dont know what to do.

Talking with dad isnt helpful