Can’t stand this anymore


Si I confronted my husband today about knowing that I know he watches porn and pleasures himself to it, while he doesn’t seem to be interested in having sex with me. We had this issue before where I found picture of women in his phone of looking people up on social media two years ago (we have been together for almost seven years) He knows I have self esteem problems and the fact that he rather to do his shit instead of having sex with me really makes me feel unwanted. I hate that I want to have a good conversation with him to understand and all he has to say is “idk what you are talking about” or “idk what you mean” or. “Idk why I do it”. It pisses me off that he can’t even be straight with me about the subject. I’m on the verge of tears because I’m on argument we woke up our almost two year of boy and I got him to sleep and he has the nerve to say he’s tired he’s going to sleep and we can talk tomorrow. Like seriously wtf. I might be overreacting, but this shit hurts, I basically beg him for sex, I clearly know he kind of gets bored while we are at it and he just wants to take it. I have been busting my ass off at the gym to look good for him, but he doesn’t even seem to even notice. I am feeling awful right now and I have no one to talk to. We have the “perfect marriage” but when it comes to intimacy it seems like I’m not enough. I have tried to spice things up a lot of times and he’s just not interested, I really don’t know what to do.