Did/does anyone have a parent that they can go to anytime they want?

I’m asking because i unfortunately don’t. For example when I’m upset and my mom sees me crying, she tells me to snap out of it making me cry even more knowing i don’t have the motherly figure that i always see on tv whos always there for their daughter, i would tell her how i feel like nobody’s there for me and feel suicidal, once again she tells me to snap out of it, and it really makes me question if i were to be gone, would she even fucking care?! More then likely not and tell me to snap out of it while I’m fucking in a coffin.