I've had this app for 4 years. For 4 years it's been a <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android">ovulation tracker</a>, a <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.nurture">pregnancy tracker</a> x2, and a <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.baby">baby tracker</a>. I've read so many cheating posts and my heart would always break for the person writing it. Some stories have even stuck with me and I often wonder how that person is doing.

Never did I think I'd be sharing my story...

Let's begin- a few months ago:

I was on facebook and the suggest friends list came up on my timeline and the first person was some girl and it showed my husband was a mutual friend. I've never seen this chick or heard of her, so I was curious and clicked on her profile. I noticed my husband was liking or hearting her profile pics often, since July. When I asked him about her he said she works with him in the office. I immediately found it odd since he talks about his work often, majority of the women there know me, know us, etc. But I've never once heard about this girl. So I just brushed it off, whatever.

Well I would often check her profile because it seriously would keep showing her under suggested friends on my timeline. And he continued to like or heart her pics. I felt off about it but I always just shook it off. I thought I was just in my head. Plus I was pregnant with our second baby so maybe it was just hormones.

October comes, my due date month. I honestly just stopped thinking about my insecurities over her and kept reminding myself that I have nothing to worry about, I can trust my husband. He's never gave me a reason not to.

Yesterday:

So I've had the baby, he's almost a month old now and with a new baby comes lots of late night feedings. Well I've noticed my husbands phone goes off often. At odd hours, and I can tell they are text messages. We have the same phone so I just know that vibrate pattern. So last night I got curious and I snooped. I know I know, I'm terrible. I let the insecurity get to me. At first I noticed nothing out of the normal. All was good. I go to his text message. Seems normal, but something in my gut told me to click on a unsaved phone number. Which he had a couple others which was all work related. But something took over me and told me to look at this particular one. So I do.. and my heart instantly broke by just glancing at it. I haven't read it all or anything. I just knew. I freaking knew it.

The first text broke me. Its burning in my mind right now. It's been on my mind since I read it. It said "Seeing you with your baby today killed me. That should be our baby together."

My husband tells her something about he's sorry, we were pregnant before he met her and it's not like he can take it back then. He tells her about our conversation we just so ironically had earlier that day. And now he wants to wait after the holidays to tell me. And how they will have their life together soon enough.

I was shaking reading these messages. I was so hurt, mad, and shocked I couldn't even cry.

Earlier that day we literally were talking about what would happen if we got a divorce. I guess his part of the conversation was all real. And it breaks me even more because he told me how if we ever did split I would be so screwed. And sadly, I would be. I'm a sahm. I haven't worked since we've been married. Idk what I would do with the kids, I'd have to get a job, I'd have to find some place to live. I'd have nothing. Y'all I told this damn dude that I would only divorce him if I ever found him cheating on me!!! And that if I did I'd take him for everything and jokingly (or so I thought) said he better get that alimony money ready. He told me it would never happen because he would just hire a good ass lawyer. And rubbed it in my face how I wouldn't be able to afford a lawyer. I told him that's fine, I'm sure my mom and dad will help me if it came down to it. He just laughed.

I guess that conversation was a little more real than I thought. Maybe he brought it up with all intentions. Idk. Now I'm so confused.

Now I don't know what to do.

I did screenshot all the texts and sent them to me. And covered all my tracks in his phone. He has no idea I know yet. I haven't talked to him much today. He knows something is wrong, but I just keep saying im busy with our boys is all. I want to leave. If I could I would pack up now and leave. But the a**hole has been taking my truck to work because his needs fixed so i don't even have a vehicle right now.

My mind is in a daze. I'm waiting for my boys to go down for a nap so I can get in the shower and just cry it all out. I have to be strong for them. I have to hold it together for them.

I know so many of you wonderful bad b*itches will tell me to take him down in a wonderful way. A way he deserves. But I know I can't. I can't jeopardize anything since two little hearts are also involved in this harsh reality.

I just dont know what to do. I haven't told anyone. My mom is in a different state for a funeral, my dad would probably immediately blow up on my husband. I want to call my sister but I know she will tell her husband who will alert my husband. Who knows, my brother in law probably already knows. So I'm just bottling this in for now and that's honestly the hardest part of it all.

🚨THANK YOU. Thank you ladies for all the support and advice. You have no idea how much reading your comments are actually helping me. You all are making me realize I am worth something and I can and will get through this and be better than ever.

Yesterday I did start calling some lawyers, sadly many weren't open with it being Saturday, others will have to call me back on Monday.

My dad called me in the evening before my husband came home and I immediately just broke down to him. I told him how my husband has no clue that I know and I want it to stay that way for now until I figure everything out. Luckily my husband is going back to work full time this week which means he will be going out of town again for work so I won't have to deal with him much and it gives me plenty of time to work behind his back. My dad is willing to help me with a lawyer, I didn't even have to ask thankfully. First thing out of his mouth was that he's getting me a lawyer lol. So Monday I will be getting that lined up. Thank you for the advice on calling all lawyers. I plan to do so especially since we live in a small town, and the towns around us are also small so lawyers are limited as it is.

It was so hard seeing him last night. I wanted to burst into tears as soon as he walked through the door. I wanted to scream at him, hit him, I wanted to tell him I know. Instead I put a fake ass smile on and welcomed him home. He could tell something is off with me, but luckily I also got my period so I'm just blaming it on mood swings. He kept trying to be overly cuddly with me. Even in bed he was wrapping his arms around me pulling me in close to him. The same thing he would do every other night. He then tried to have sex, which I wanted to blow off at that moment. How can a guy seriously be having an affair, and who knows how physical him and this chick are with each other. And yet you're trying to still get in with me?? How disgusting!! How can a guy wrap his arms around someone knowing that he has a mistress?? Its disturbing, I don't get it. My heart is completely shattered, I just keep trying to go back over everything and see if I was missing other signs. But there was nothing else. He's seriously been the best husband.