A little heartbroken

My husband been cheating our entire relationship. When we were dating I was super naive and believed he would never sleep with anybody, he just “talked” to other girls when he got mad at me....then I found out in marriage he been sleeping with other females. This one in particular he always contacts for head, money or sex. The shit just ended (at least he says so) abt a three months ago now. He’s trying to change and is changing but I kept help but still feel like he is a manipulative liar. I feel like he likes this other girl’s sex more then mine which really kills my self esteem. Its to the point I have zero sex drive. I can’t talk to him cause it leads into an argument. Once in an argument, I said “go to her she probably loves u more then I do!” Which he responded “she probably does” and I whole heartedly think he believes this. He has lied so much idk what to believe about him and her. Everything he says sounds like a lie