How would you feel?

Question

If your SO told you he’s going to buy you a lot of gifts and spend a lot of money for your birthday so you can “feel obligated”, how would you react/feel? He means so I can feel obligated to do the same for his birthday. I feel like that’s a messed up selfish thing to say to your gf especially when he’s been selfish in the past. 
Plus... we’ve discussed many times about my birthday and christmas presents being separate this year bc I never feel special for my birthday since he just merges the 2. I guess I just wanted to feel special this year and he’s making it about himself. Or am I being extra?

Answer

That's so manipulative! You don't give people things just so they feel obligated to do the same for you, you give things because you want to. I would definitely not be okay with that.

Answer

i'd feel like he's out of his mind. 
gifts are gifts. they don't come with special conditions. you give what you want to give and shouldn't expect/feel entitled to something in return. it's tacky and immature. is it nice for the effort to be reciprocated? yes. but you don't HAVE to spend a lot to give something thoughtful and meaningful. 
my bf and i love to spoil each other but we don't expect the other to match the same monetary value. this year the gifts he's getting me aren't worth very much in terms of monetary value, whereas i'm spending significantly more. it's not about the cost but whether or not the other person can actually derive value from the gift. focusing on the cost is shallow.

Answer

He sounds a bit off but so does you requesting separate gifts for birthdays and Christmas? Idk. This is why my husband and I don’t do gifts.

How would you feel?

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