Releived...but feeling slightly disappointed?

Had my regular monthly doctors appointment this morning & baby boy’s heart beat came in strong at 145. All is well with him, but it was me my OB wanted to talk about.

I asked for a referral for physical therapy at my last appointment to help with really bad lower back & left hip pain. I had core muscle surgery in May of 2018 and as my little man has started to grow and put pressure on all my joints, I was back to dealing with a lot of pain in my lower back and left hip no matter what I tried.

Therapy has been going well, and they want me to continue with the sessions up until I deliver. That being said, after reviewing the notes from my surgeon; my OB thinks it would be best for me to deliver via C section - as positioning my hips for a vaginal delivery may put too much strain on the hip/core muscles I had repaired - and she doesn’t want to run the risk of me unknowingly tearing something during delivery and needing a repeat surgery to fix everything after. (A huge concern I had as well.) We’re going to keep talking about it at my next appointment, but she is heavily leaning that direction.

Is it weird to feel relief & disappointment at the same time? I mean, yes - I wanted to do my best to bring my little man into the world naturally (I think the majority of FTM hopes for this); but a really big part of me is relieved that my OB is making a decision that is best not only for my little guys health, but my overall health as well.

Anyone else on this roller coaster of emotions about the possibility of a scheduled C Section too?