I want another baby but my husband doesn’t 😢

To be fair, we already have 3 children.....

To be fair, the eldest is already 9, the youngest is 2 and a half but that would still be a healthy 4 year difference with the last one....

To be fair, my husband is in his early 50s....

I’m 39, so not that young myself either... I would be 40 to 41 by the time I have another baby....

To be fair, my husband is home a lot and I travel a lot for work, so taking care of children all seems easy for me.... but it’s a lot for him.

To be fair, we travel a lot with the family and having another baby will slow is down. Financially, it starts getting too expensive.... more au pairs, more driving, more plane tickets.... we will likely travel a lot less, which will affect the life experiences of the other 3 children....

And to be fair, I don’t love dealing with too many people’s needs before my morning coffee and certainly not in the middle of my 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep....

Although I’ve always been that way and have made it through 3 babies... they just learned to sleep faster!

But something in me is telling me that having babies is what I’m supposed to do..... I can’t shake that feeling and feel like our family would be better with another child in it.

I don’t have family on my side.... no siblings, cousins or anyone other than my aging mother I am not particularly close with.

My kids and my husbamd are my only family, my kids in particular because it is a different kind of unconditional love that is not the same with a partner.

I feel like I want to surround myself with more people.

Am I just not accepting that this is the end of my reproductive years? Should I force the issue with my husband who has been so patient with me and our family but feels like we are in a good place and fears that this will throw off the equilibrium? Is it possible to regret having another child?

I also really miss having a newborn. It is such an amazing experience.

My husband said he would get me a puppy 😶