*trigger warning*

We got three positive pregnancy tests last Thursday. A light but obvious pink line and two digitals. We were only TTC for three months but I was using OPKs and we tried Preseed and my god, it actually worked! We were so excited! 🤩

We made an appointment for Friday with my family Dr and confirmed with a blood test, my HCG was only 53, but it was so early, that was fine.

Over the weekend I had a little light brown discharge. At first I was a little concerned but everything I read said that brown was “old blood” and totally normal in the first trimester... so, okay, I don’t even say anything to my husband and we really start getting used to the idea of being parents.

Sunday morning I do another pregnancy test and the line is darker so I’m feeling good. I ordered custom Christmas ornaments to surprise our parents with (we had scheduled our first ultrasound for the week before Christmas, what perfect timing).

By Tuesday it progressed to true spotting where I needed a pantyliner and it’s darker brown. I told my husband I was nervous, but he wasn’t. He thought everything was fine and tried to calm me down. “It’s normal to be anxious”. I still cried a little after he fell asleep that night.

Wednesday morning I did another pregnancy test and the line was light. Maybe even lighter than the original positive we had, so I dip another, maybe that test has something wrong with the dye, I’m using FMU every time so I know that can’t make much difference. The second test was just as light.

I call my Dr’s office as soon as they open and they get me in later that morning. My Dr said the first step is another blood test, and that can tell you a lot. Before the end of the day she called me to say my HCG had dropped to 28 and the pregnancy was no longer progressing.

This morning I’m still spotting dark brown, waiting for my period to start. This morning I didn’t check the Bump for a baby size update, or put my hand on my lower belly and get excited all over again. There will be no announcement from us this holiday season. I’ll sip a glass of wine at every event so no one needs to speculate on whether or not the newlyweds might have some news. 🍷