I really like this guy. We met on Bumble ( like Tinder ). I’m 18 ( I’m mature for someone for my age from even from a young age ) He’s 21. Yes I understand the age gap. We connected and get along very well. At first I wasn’t sure about my feelings for the past 2 months but this past week I haven’t seen him and I’m getting these butterflies wanting to see him and missing him. I’m sure I want to be with him for the moment now.

BUT the thing is, the only time I get to see him is later at night cause of school and work; our schedule doesn’t work out seeing each other during the day and only later at night. AND now it’s going to change cause the only way I see him at night is when my parents go to work ( they work night shift from 4pm-2am; they drive an 1hr out for work ). my parents might be quitting their job again cause they usually carpool with someone but the person is riding with another person now and the car is full. My parents don’t want to drive that long cause they’re going to be tired after work and idk how long it’s going to be when they get another job.

Just when things are getting better and I’m sure about getting into a relationship, things always mess up. Last time I was in a relationship was 3 years ago and it ended bad; abusive and toxic relationship. After that, I was scared to get into one again but this guy makes me feel different and makes me want to try again.

I know I’m 18. I’m an adult. I’m not allowed to have a boyfriend because they want me to focus on school. I did what they wanted throughout high school and got good grades and got into a nice and well known university and majoring in something they like ( I’m going to start in January ) So, they don’t know about me having a boyfriend. BUT I still live under my parents house and they’re going to use the excuse that I’m under their roof and such. Yes, I have a job but even still, where I live it’s still expensive even to live with other people.

I feel like I’m going to ghost him because I don’t want to trouble him with the hassle of going through hoops and stuff just for me to see him and frustrating him and/ or he’ll say that’s fine and not even try or do anything.

My manzzz 🥵

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