i’ve been crying non stop for the past couple of days over a guy that led me on.He finally told me the other day that he was talking to my other friend J. That really broke me, i don’t think i’ve ever cried harder. I didn’t cut for almost a year but that...him saying that...i couldn’t handle it. I though that finally a guy actually cared for me and might not fuck me over.. boy was i wrong. The really upsetting thing is that i talked to J about him ALL the time and she never said anything about them, like i understand it’s private and stuff but really?? KNOWING that i’ve had feelings for him for the past 2 fucking years and she decided to pull that bullshit. It’s his fault too but i understand, i’ve been in his situation before..sadly..talking to two people at once and losing feelings for one but not having the balls to tell them. Anyways it’s partly my fault too because he was constantly giving off signs n shit. I would say “hey boo” n he would say stuff like “k” or respond a day later.

End of that sob story lol.

I met another guy at a football game and turns out he lives 20 minutes away from me. He makes me so happy and is so awkward n cute n oml he melts my heart 🥺 we’ve been “talking” for about a month or 2 now hehe. Sometimes i feel bad and annoying if i double text or spam to much but i’m probably just overreacting. we ft last night n it was so awkward n quiet bc we’ve never actually talked to each other before so we were just awkwardly laughing ((his laugh is so cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺)). He’s never dated anybody or done anything of that sort but tbh neither have I so we’re both kind of scared :/

i’m terrified to talk to him irl or even go out in a group with him n our friends due to some trauma involving with a relationship n a very uncomfortable amount of sexual touching. I’m absolutely terrified if somebody even puts their hand on my thigh.

i don’t know what to do. I’m to scared to tell him that i’m not ready to be in a relationship and i would rather not talk about the trauma more than i need to.