How do you get through to someone who always thinks they are right?

My fiance and I have known each other for 27 years. We are both 33. Been together for 6 years.

We always talked about wanting a child. We have talked a lot about the way we wanted to raise our child. He always agreed with everything I said but never had much input. He said he liked my ideas, that they were compassionate and well thought out. Well, we had a little boy 7 months ago and everything has changed.

He fought me on vaccines since he was conceived.

The only input I get from him is "let him cry". Literally. That is literally the only advise he gives me.

He says things to our son like "I can't wait until you're older and I can give you spankings". Not happening. Not. Happening. He gets angry at our son for doing normal baby things like spitting up or kicking his feet during diaper changes. He yells at him if our son pulls his hair too hard or accidental hits him while playing. Gets mad and yells things like "Jesus, what the fuck" if our son cries for food.

I say something everytime and he gets snarky. And downright disrespectful. Saying things like "I'll just be the anonymous sperm donor and you can have it all your way". I just want him to see how ridiculous and damaging it is yelling at a baby.

What the actual fuck are you doing...?

My mind and body have told me numerous times to leave. I wonder if it's just taking him time to adjust. I honestly don't understand where all this came from. I've tried more times than I can count to talk to him about this. And how I will not tolerate it much longer. My son wont live this life. But he just gets defensive. He flat out refuses counseling.

I feel like this relationship is fading. Like we want different things. I want to raise my son to be kind, attentive, curious, compassionate... he wants to yell at him and let him cry....

Especially now that I've written this out... it sounds like it's about over and I need an exit strategy... doesn't it?

Advice?