Advice about pregnant sister in law

Hey

We miscarried in December 2018 and despite trying constantly have not conceived.

Right from the start i have struggled to deal with the grief of losing our baby and also the disappointment every month of not conceiving again. Over the last month or so my husband has not been dealing with it very well either and we are doing our best to support each other.

My husbands sister is expecting her baby in April next year and I did take quite a while for her to get pregnant. She knew about our miscarriage and that I’m struggling and when she told us we congratulated her ect and when we were discussing it a few weeks later I said I probably wouldn’t be able to be as involved as we would want cos I’m still finding things hard. I still went to her 30th at end of November birthday party and set up a little tea party for her birthday. However I have not really asked much about the baby because I’ve been late the last two months (never normally late) and it’s caused heightened anxiety for me. I went to my gp to be referred and they said I had to wait 6 months more so I messaged my SIL asking how she was and asking if they referred her after a year of trying (she didn’t experience a miscarriage) and if I should push the GP a bit more. I had also messaged her once before at beginning of October asking about breast pain.

Anyway she responded saying I wasn’t being fair and that I was using her asking questions when I didn’t want to know or want anything to do with her and the baby.

My husband is furious that she could say that and wants to confront her. I don’t know whether we are just being emotional or I have been in the wrong for asking questions.

I would be grateful for your advice (sorry for long message)

Thank you