I'm not ready...

I wish I could be a SAHM. Honestly I don't feel like I'm ready to go back to work. I got pregnant once I started my new job. Went on leave, and was offered full-time. But I don't feel ready. When I go back, my son will only be 5 weeks old and we have no childcare. I wouldn't trust anyone with my 5 week old. I would ask my sister who's 21 to help watch him. I would even pay her, but I feel like she wouldn't be focused on him.

My dream was always to be a SAHM. But I don't know how I can handle that, cause I don't want to be broke, and my boyfriend and I are trying to get our own place. So I'm not sure if my boyfriend would be okay with it... cause the he would have to pay for everrryyything. I'm just at a loss right now...