BF, Depression, Holidays

My BF suffers from depression. He found out he’s not getting his son this holiday season. My grandfather just passed. I haven’t really heard from my BF. His mom updates me on him. I’m working through my own grief & I’m angry at my BF for not checking up on me or showing me he cares. But he has his own thing going on. We BOTH have a shitty holiday. I don’t want to be projecting my shit on him either. I want to be fair.

.

Am I being too hard on him/myself? Am I expecting too much? Too emotional? Any insight is appreciated!