I rushed into my marriage

*names changed for protection

My husband and I dated briefly in 2016 (we were still in high school). By November we were broken up with no communication. Gradually, over two years, we reconnected and started to go on dates again. November 2018, we called it official. He asked me to marry him January 2019. I said yes, and we got married October 27, 2019. Just shy of two months later, I realized that I rushed into our marriage.

My husband, Eric* has faults, but so do I. He is ungodly stubborn, refuses to change his toxic traits, and doesn't respect my jobs at all. I'm also stubborn, naive, and I have to have the last word in an argument. He prefers to deal with issues by himself, even when they concern me.

I find my friend, Aaron*, attractive. His personality, his humor, and charm is all that my husband lacks. Our rapport is something that can't be match. Unfortunately, we both have naturally flirty personalities, which my husband knows.

I love my husband very, very much. I'm just afraid that we married for the wrong reasons. I'm 20 and he's 21. Aaron is 22, nearly 23. How do I make my marriage work when my husband refuses counseling? I want genuine advice. I want to stay dedicated, but I feel like we aren't bringing out the best in each other. He's controlling, hates my friends, and tries to start a fight whenever he sees Aaron. What do I do?