So I'm married and I've been married for quite a while my spouse and I are polyamorous meaning that we can have more than one meaning meaningful relationship at a time. I went out one night with this guy that I've been talking to for a while I've hung out with him before and everything was fine. he knew that I had a lot going on in my life and I didn't want to just hook up. he had promised me that if I didn't want to do anything he wouldn't make me do anything I didn't want to do. So he picked me up at midnight night it was super late because he had just gotten out of work but he wanted to hang out so he came and picked me up from my house and we went to their house to watch a movie and just hang out for a little while the movie ended shortly before 2 a.m. and he kept trying to force me to kiss him during the movie he forcing me to cuddle them and every time I tried to move away he would pull me closer and hold me tighter and he kept grabbing my chin and pulling my head up to kiss him and every time I will try and pull away from the him he would just hold me Tighter and kiss me stronger and kept forcing his tongue into my mouth. I was really uncomfortable and I texted my spouse and they didn't read my text so I didn't think they were paying attention and I got really scared and didn't know what to do and I kept telling him for an hour and a half i wanted to go home and he wouldn't bring me home he just kept forcing me to cuddle in and grabbing my chest and forcing me to kiss him and forcing his tongue in my mouth. He made it very clear he was bigger and stronger than me and he could do what he wanted to do. I was so scared I didnt know what was going to happen. I finally told him that I was leaving whether you brought me home or I had to walk the 7 Mile home and I stood at his door and he finally brought me home I haven't talked to him since and it's been almost two weeks I blocked him on everything 2 days after the incident and he has not tried to talk to me at all when we had been talking everyday before then I finally told my spouse tonight what happened and we got into a huge fight they kept telling me that they couldn't trust me to go anywhere anymore that I wasn't allowed to leave the house anymore without them going with me that they were so hurt that I didn't call them they couldn't believe that I didn't call them why wouldn't I call them I was in a bad situation why didn't I call them and kept turning it around on me and making me the bad guy I don't know how to feel about any of it I just want to forget all of that happened I don't want to remember any of that I don't want to deal with this I've been really distant with everybody and haven't wanted to do anything lately I don't want to have sex or do any of the kinky BDSM things that I used to like to do anymore because I get scared I don't know if this is the right place to post this but I just needed to get it off my chest I don't have anyone to talk to about this and I'm scared ive been really depressed since then and feel so alone and like I failed because I didnt keep myself safe