So Christmas has been the worst for me. My husband and his mam has a vicar friend who is trying to turn my children against me. They want her all the time. I went to compliment my husband on doing such good work setting up my daughters toy kitchen but before I could finish what I was saying she told me to stop, then she told me all I ever do is ALWAYS put my husband down and I drag him down. Then over christmas she's been digging at me and having a go every chance she gets. We went out for boxing day dinner and as soon as I got there she went and got my daughter out of the dress I brought for her and put her in clothes she brought for her instead. When it came to eating my daughter ate everything on her plate but my son didn't have anything as he is unwell, my daughter wanted more so I gave her what I had but I was told by said vicar not to give her too much and only give my daughter what vicar wanted her to have. I was cut short in every conversation by mother in law and vicar and treated worse than anyone has treated me (even worse than how my abusive ex used to treat me) I have dumped friends and don't talk to family members because of the way they had treated or spoke to him but my husband is Mr can't do no wrong and is always right but not once has he ever stuck up for me he didn't even speak up for me when he saw exactly what I had said had been going on. I feel so alone and can't just get up and leave him like I want to because his family and the vicar will make sure I lose my children as my husband has support and I have no one. I can't go to child services or anywhere for help as I have a 16 year old daughter who was taken from me and placed for adoption after a long fight because of my abusive ex. I don't want to lose my children and I don't want to leave them but knowing I am completely alone I want to end my life as I really have nothing to live for. I went upstairs today when my daughter was brought home and refused to come down because my husband really shouted at me in front of his mam and vicar all because I was concentrating on my son and he was in bed where he always is and I didn't hear the door which meant he had to get up and come down. The dirty smirk I got from the vicar and his mam just said it all for me. I hate my life and however much I love my children with all my heart I wish I had never had them with him. I want to die because I can't be a mum and I can't stand the abuse. Just needed to vent and really don't need to hear get out and take the kids or that there is help out there because trust me I know i can't and I know there isn't. I tried before with my abusive ex and lost my daughter. I did get away and found someone I thought was a lot better but appearances are so deceiving. If I was to leave I would lose my children which means I'm trapped