Post partum anxiety?

I’m not really “post partum” anymore, my daughter is 18 months old. So I’m not sure if this is actually PPA or what it is but I’ve felt this way for a while and it’s not getting any better. I was in my first year of graduate school my entire pregnancy, then has my baby in the summer and finished up the second year and a half. I just completely finished the program and graduated 2 weeks ago. It was such a demanding program I feel like I just pushed my feeling aside to get through, and now that I’m done im feeling the worst of it. I had some anxiety before getting pregnant, mainly from being in a traumatic relationship (cheated on multiple times in the most astounding ways you could imagine) It also runs in my family. But since having my daughter people close to me just know I’m different. I’m so easily set off and overwhelmed. It makes my husband and I constantly fight because I feel like I just want more help from him and I have to beg for it and he thinks since I haven’t “worked and made money” that the obligation of taking care of our daughter is mostly mine. Sure he’ll watch her so I can shower or run to the grocery store, or he’ll give her a bath or change her diaper if I tell him to. Otherwise, it’s all me. I constantly feel exhausted and overwhelmed and distracted. All I want to do is escape and go on my phone, and I feel horrible because I should want to play with her. I drink every night just to feel better. Not to the point of being belligerent since I have to take care of my daughter, but i want to not feel like I have to drink to be happy and relaxed. I have so much anxiety about my daughters health. I’m constantly researching the best vitamins, diet, products because I’m so afraid of childhood cancer and diseases. I’m also a nervous wreck whenever she has to get shots and if it wasn’t for schools forcing them I wouldn’t get them for her because of the research I’ve done and horror stories I’ve heard. She still sleeps with us because I know I would never be able to sleep with her being in another room. I need her next to me to know she’s safe. I check on her breathing multiple times throughout the night. I just feel like I’m a horrible mom and my daughter deserves the world. She is my absolute everything and pretty much my reason I keep fighting. I don’t care about myself anymore. I couldn’t care less if I don’t shower, put on makeup, brush my hair. I’ll wear the same clothes with holes. I don’t care. I would rather get my daughter nice clothes and bows. That’s honestly what makes me happy though. I don’t have anyone to impress anyway. I’ve gained a lot of weight since having her, and I used to be so into what I ate and exercising. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone. All my friends either aren’t that close anymore or don’t have kids so they can’t relate. My family has a lot going on and I can’t burden them with my troubles on top of everything they’re dealing with. And my husband has no idea how to handle it. He knows there’s something off with me but he gets so frustrated with my short temper he ends up making it worse by telling me to go eat another donut or that I don’t work and how can I not handle just taking care of the house and baby since that’s my only obligation. I don’t know where to go for help, PCP, obgyn, psychologist? And I don’t know if this is normal or not. I know adjusting to motherhood is hard, it’s a new role, new strain on relationships, and worrying about your kids is obviously going to happen. But when is it past that point of normal? I guess I’m just looking for anyone else who has maybe had some of these symptoms or could relate to anything. Thank you.