Was your second delivery easier?

I had a horrible experience with my first pregnancy.

I hemorrhaged uncontrollably, had 4th degree tearing, my epidural didn’t work, etc.

I’m pregnant now with my second and it’s starting to set in that I’m going to do all that again.

I’m terrified that I’ll rip open again. Scared I’m going to bleed out. Scared of having another unmedicated birth. (Which probably wouldn’t be the worst thing, but my son was over 9 pounds, so...😳)

Anyway...is there hope that I could have a smooth delivery after something so traumatic?