Baby in college ?

Question

Hi ! I’m not sure how many people will actually read this, but let me get straight to the point. I’m 19, in college, studying marine biology. I’ve been on my own since I left for school, pay for rent, food, phone, and school ... I have a best friend that loves me deeply. (We use to date but I think we’re better off as friends (for now?)) But... I really really want a baby. I’ve been dreaming of one since I can fuckin remember. I want one before I’m too old and I’ve honestly been living each day like it’s my last. So why wait because i could die tomorrow. I wanted to get a community of opinions on this sort of decision, because, well, I really want a baby. What are the set backs, how difficult is it, even if I don’t have much I hear stories of families that make it with little to nothing. If you’ve read this far and even if you are/have commented I appreciate you greatly for taking time to give me your opinion. Peace and Love, Lauren 🦋🧿✨.

Answer

I’m 18 I’ll be 19 in April, 32 weeks pregnant with a little girl. We got married a few months ago and I’m in school and he works to support me and our baby. It is not easy and I definitely wouldn’t recommend it.  Going to school full time is hard enough with only normal responsibilities let alone pregnant/with a baby. I’ve had to switch to all online classes so I can stay home to take care of our baby. I can’t even imagine how tiring it would be adding a job to the mix of having a baby and going to school full time. It’s easy when you have more to focus on than just school to get set back in your 4-year plan so your school will take even longer. You’ll have the responsibility of your baby to take care of before you can buy a house, a car, or anything so that sets you back on those things. It sounds like you don’t even have a stable relationship and that you’re just willing to have a baby with someone you don’t really love? That’s a bad idea and has a whole other set of its own problems. I love my husband and I love my daughter but this definitely isn’t the easiest route and if I were you I would wait the 5 years or so when you’re out of school, have a steady job, and someone you want to have an attachment to for the rest of your life.

Answer

So I’m going to be 30 when this baby is born. I have a feeling from what your saying that I’m in a bit more of a stable place for being pregnant. Even with that I am in my 3rd year of my bcomm with an accounting major and let me tell you how much more difficult school has become since I have been pregnant. Between the sickness and general feeling like crap in the first trimester I had to drop 2 courses because there was no way I could get all the work done on time (I take 5 per semester), my gpa has suffered, and I will probably have to re-take one of my courses as my grade was sitting at a 68% and I need at least a 70 for my CPA. If I could have chosen when I got pregnant it would have been after I graduated (5 yrs of no pregnancy so it was a bit of a surprise it finally happened)

Answer

Well first off your child will need a father so think of that before you choose what’s only best for you

Answer

Please don’t do this. People don’t usually have babies this young unless by accident or are in a super stable relationship and have the finances to pull this off. Raising a child is stressful and difficult even when the circumstances are ideal. You have no idea the upheaval this would cause to have 0 money and no education and be responsible for this little life. Not to mention it doesn’t seem like you have a partner, so how exactly do you plan on supporting yourself? This is a terrible idea. You are only 19, barely an adult, why are you worried about not having one before you get to old? Women are having babies into their 40s now. What if you want to travel? Work abroad? That’s all out the window. You are literally a teenager. Just enjoy being young and carefree. 
You need to speak to a trusted friend or parent. I think you will regret a decision like this.

Answer

What’s the harm in waiting until you graduate and get a job though? You said you’ve heard stories of families who have had it difficult and “made it through”, but do you really want to struggle unnecessarily so?

Answer

I don't think it would be fair to the child if you had one right now and quiet selfish to be honest. Yes people make a living on little to nothing but that is not by choice. You are studying right now meaning you can build up a career and make good money at some point and offer your kid a good life. Why would you want to have a kid if you don't have the means for it? And when you are older you will have the time that a kid deserves and not just a stressed mum that is trying to fit everything in. The choice to become a mum should never be a selfish one and always with the kid as a priority. It's about what the kid needs not about what you want.

Answer

Say bye to your degree or switch your major. Or get another job to pay for a sitter while you’re in school. Baby’s r so time consuming you don’t even understand. What if you get a colicky baby? Or ur baby ends up being special needs? There’s so many what ifs and you are not in the right place at all. Find a man and lock him down. Get married. Work for a few years. Then have kids.

Answer

Are you asking for stories of how difficult it is? I've spent the past 5 days with a two month old who refuses to sleep no matter what and screams because he's over-tired. He will only nap in my arms and I spent my entire day yesterday listening to him cry, trying to get him to sleep, or holding him while he slept. Didn't get to do anything. Also, haven't slept incredibly well since he was born. And every second of every day is spent stressing over his well-being, even when he takes a good nap or when I get to be apart from him for a short period of time. The stress literally is nonstop. (I must add a disclaimer that I absolutely love my son and it's all worth it). It's extremely trying mentally, emotionally, and physically. I would pay 100$ to get 8 hours of sleep.

Baby in college ?

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