Curious

I’ve tried to masturbate with a massager vibrating thing but it makes to much noise and my boyfriend said he was gonna get me those lovense and he hasn’t yet due to distance and I can’t have sex with him bc he’s way too far and still lives with his parents and he has 3 siblings so we don’t ever get a chance to and I’m curious on how I can pleasure myself?

Also we’ve had sex before one time and it was the first time and I still didn’t know how an orgasm feels like so I’m scared that he can’t pleasure me enough to the point where I can cum so those times he finished but I just faked it what should I do abt those 2 problems?