Do you invite your nanny to family events?

Question

So this is the first time I’ve had someone outside of my family watch my kids. She’s been with us for a little over 5 months. 
When Christmas was coming up, she asked what we were doing and I explained we were having Christmas eve at our house with just a few people then Christmas Day going to multiple houses and doing all the things. She then made a comment about how fun Christmas eve will be and she can’t wait. I told her who would be coming (5 people) and didn’t mention her or her BF. I kinda ignored the comment because I thought it was odd. Christmas passed and she didn’t say anything so I thought okay good, not going to be a problem. 
Fast forward to now, she knows my daughters birthday is in March and asked what we planned to do. We have some ideas but nothing set in stone. It’s her 2nd birthday so nothing as big or crazy as we did for her first. She then again starts to say how she can’t wait to come and she’s already looking at presents to buy my daughter. 
I don’t have an issue inviting her to the birthday (I thought Xmas eve was weird but birthdays I’m fine with). My question is, do people who have nannies invite them to family events? Is it a normal thing to do? What if the party/event turns out to be very small and family only, would you still invite them? I don’t know if it matters that she watches my daughter 2 days a week. 
I’ll also add that I will be inviting her to the birthday because she clearly wants to come. But moving forward, should it be an expectation that she comes to events?
TIA!

Answer

I'd say kids birthday yes as she watches your child and obviously has become attached to them.... other events no.

Answer

Having been a nanny for 10 years, I can say we want to celebrate with you! 
Birthdays are a great way for your nanny to be included in your families life without being intrusive. I’ve lived going to them and meeting the parents family, friends, and coworkers. Seriously, it’s fun! 
However I’d say no to Christmas Eve/Christmas. 
Nanny’s attending a birthday do so on their own time without pay, UNLESS you ask for help then they are back on the clock. So you’d want to discuss that. And it is appropriate to give a small gift of cash at the holidays. Even $20 to get their nails done or something.

Answer

My cousins have a fully time nanny and she is now considered family. She has always been invited to attend family events, such as christmas and/or birthdays. It was her choice on if she wanted to come. Sometimes she did, sometimes she didnt. I dont see where it's odd as they spend a lot of time with the children and like to celebrate those things with the families they work for.

Answer

I don’t think it’s weird if you invite her but I think it’s weird she keeps assuming and inviting herself.

Answer

I’ve been a nanny for about four years and for multiple families and I was always invited to family events, not all of them but birthdays and school award ceremonies etc. but I will say it’s kinda weird how she keeps inviting herself. That’s so not polite

Answer

That's odd. It may be bitchy, but you need to draw boundaries for your family. It's perfectly fine to invite her to an event, but for her to invite herself or have it be expected is not ok

Answer

I nanny a 2 year old girl full time since she was born and my family has grown very close with the little girl’s entire family (the parents, grandparents, aunts). 
The little girl is a treated so much like a part of our family and her family appreciates it so much. I know that if I stopped being her nanny at any point we would all continue to be in each other’s lives. Our daughters have also become very close. They are like sisters now! 
Their family comes to my sister’s soccer games, we go to each other’s family birthday parties, we get together for our own Christmas lunch and exchange gifts after spending the holidays alone with our family, we meet for lunch just for fun, they all came to my baby shower, etc.
BUT if I wasn’t so close with them, I wouldn’t expect any of this. If that were the case then I think it would be nice to be invited just to the child’s birthday parties. When a person takes care of a child they normally grow to love them and just want to be a part of big things in their life, like birthdays.

Do you invite your nanny to family events?

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