My sister relapsed

Most days I deal with it pretty well. She was an addict for 10+ years and finally got clean 2 years ago. Got off probation this summer of 2019 and instantly you could see a difference in her from her weight to her attitude. Of course she denied it.

We got clear confirmation after they drug tested her due to numerous people telling us she was using again all the way to catching her nodded out in her car. They packed her stuff up. Changed the locks. And she’s back out on the side of town she was in when she was a user before....

It’s sad to say but the 2 years she was clean, I had zero idea what to do with her. How to rebuild our relationship, etc. I was more used to her using than actually being around. I still tried and I’d take her to breakfast and such. We just never really got anywhere though. She never took the time to rebuild the relationships, especially with her 3 daughters.

Like I said, most days I deal with it pretty well. Then there’s days like today where I just get sad. My heart is heavy. I have never gotten to experience what life was like with a sister. I feel cheated out of a sister and a “life long best friend”. Although I have really great friends who have become a lot like sisters... It’s still just not the same. I worry for her safety and her health. In her 10+ years of using she said she never OD’d..... Who knows how much longer she can get by being that lucky... She even told me for herself when she would see someone OD she would try to figure out where they got their dope cause she wanted that high.

I’m not sure I’m looking for anything.. Just venting..

My heart aches for you if you can relate but know you’re not alone. I wish I had a cure for this epidemic. I’ve lost 2 childhood friends to heroine and I just want it all to stop!!!! My biggest fear is having her funeral next. I’m not entirely sure how I’ll react. In a sense.. I’m prepared for it because I’ve already mourned her and still mourn her.. and on the other hand... I am petrified for that day to come..

My momma with all 3 of her babies in the same room for the first time in many years (this was when she first got sober in 2017)

Easter this year 2019

And here’s her now since being off probation 😭😭😭