low libido

hey guys. i’m 23 y.o and for a while (like age 18) i thought i was asexual- someone who has no sexual feelings or desire because i never wanted to have sex. obviously at that age esp being in college everyone is having sex and booking up- my definition of hooking up was a hot make out session, maybe dry humping included if i was lucky. i was dating a guy to whom i only felt a love for mentally but not physically. i am now with another guy for the past 4 years now. he took my virginity when i was 19 but to be honest with you, after all these years i still find myself barely enjoying sex. i love the thought of sex. i like it within some time of art like paintings or maybe poetry. i like to masturbate but i never insert my vibrators inside of me, because scared/ not interested, but i probably masturbate less than the average girl. i like to fantasize having sex with hot guys. i’ll have all this sex talk to my boyfriend during work, while texting, and when we come home- no desire. ever. really. if it were up to me i’d probably have sex maybe like 4 times a month or something. i really rarely want it. and i feel so bad for him because he’ll think i don’t want him to think to have sex with HIM. i just don’t wanna have SEX. i don’t know if i’m like demi sexual. that sounds a lot like me. i don’t enjoy hooking or and sleeping around. i need an intimate connection to feel any sexual desire. then again sometimes i feel like me and my boyfriend are not that emotionally connected sometimes so maybe that’s a sign.. idk but all i know is why is my libido trash and will men love me in the future being that nonexistent lmk please