My baby girl.

Hi. I don’t post on this app often. Mostly because my life has been extremely hectic since getting pregnant with this baby and I didn’t make this decision until recently. I am 18 years old. At 15 I was given a choice. I got pregnant by a douchebag guy who I was abused by for 2 years. I was given a choice. To be a mom, or not to be a mom. I chose to be a mom. I raised my daughter with the help of my friends, my family and God. It was hard. I barley went to school, there were days I gave up on being a mom, nights I disappeared to party. Nights I cried because I didn’t wanna do it. Days and nights where I cared more about tracking down my abusive boyfriend after he leaves for weeks upon end only to come back for money for drugs. All my options for school went down the drain. Every opportunity I was given I had taken for granted and ended up not going or not caring enough. I lost jobs. I’d stay for a couple months then give up, get bored and forget I have a little one at home that needs me. What ended it all was the day I went to the hospital, the day I chose to not wanting to be alive anymore. After that I got better and I thought they would stay that way. I met a guy, I got engaged fast, I planned a wedding fast, I moved into my own place fast and I got pregnant fast. I wanted a baby. I wanted another mini me, someone to love. I wanted to expand my family. But I didn’t know at the time that he wasn’t the right guy either. I loved him..but I wasn’t inlove with him. We ended on bad terms. This pregnancy was a struggle. I got diagnosed with severe morning sickness and missed work almost everyday. I stopped going. I was in the hospital twice a week. I met another guy who I thought loved me and it ended up just being another stupid relationship that wrecked my mental health. Then as I continued to feel like nothing would ever get better. A friend came to me, and offered me something I never thought I’d consider. Adoption. Having my baby girl, go to a beautiful family. Where she’d grow and be loved and I’d never have a doubt that she wouldn’t be taken care of. An amazing family contacted me..a beautiful amazing family who when I met I instantly knew my daughter would be theres. Everything was right. They showed love to me when they barley knew me, they check in on me everyday. They offer to get me things I may need, and they give me support everyday. They put together the most amazing nursery for her and have picked out the post amazing name...and along the way of this journey of deciding I was given yet another gift, and that is my boyfriend. He has stuck by me through hell and back. The nights where I’m grumpy, the nights where I cry for any random reason. He supports me and he shows me love and respect, not only for me, but for my daughter. He is a blessing...and some nights I know I’ll cry because I know I will miss her, I will miss her being in my stomach and her kicks, and I know I will miss not being able to bring her home with me. But what I do know is she will have a home. A home with a family that will love her. And I know that I will have a family and a partner and God and friends to help me through it all. I’m 18 years old. I chose to grow up fast at 15 and now I know that I have so much more I want to do. I want to go to finish my GED and go college. I want to be able to support my daughter on my own and I want to grow into an incredible woman. These decisions..they aren’t easy. It wasn’t easy for me and there are many people out there considering this that aren’t easy for them. I’m telling my story because many people didn’t know I was pregnant, many people did and didn’t know what was happening, many people assumed. I’m not asking for pity. I’m just sharing my story. Thank you for listening.