I’m worried out of my mind! Please, I need some support. Advice, anything.

This year has already proven to be very difficult. I’m 17 and have been dating my boyfriend for 10 months so far.

He’s my life. He’s helped me through so much, he doesn’t even comprehend how much he’s done for me.

My home situation isn’t the best. My Mom is very verbally and sometimes physically abusive to me and my Dad doesn’t hold her accountable for her actions because he’s too tired to be bothered. It really takes a toll on my mental health.

I’ve been through some bad times lately and it’s always been my boyfriend to pull me out of them. He’s called me when I’m on my knees, begging God to take my pain away. He’s stayed awake with me countless times to make sure I’m okay. He’s the only one in my entire life who has cared so much about me.

A fear of mine that’s always been my #1 fear, is losing those close to me. In the past few years, I’ve lost a lot of people. One of my team mates I saw one day at a science competition then the next I was reading an email saying he passed suddenly in his sleep. A school guard I was very close with had a heart attack at school and I was reading an email saying he didn’t make it. I watched him go down. The ambulance carry him away. Just so many people I’ve seen fine one day, then gone the next.

My boyfriend, the light of my entire existence, has been really sick this past week. He had a lingering fever which reached a peak of 103. He broke it, and was recovering. All he had now was a cough which was going away.

I met up with him yesterday. He was completely fine. Still coughing, but was clearly on the road to recovery. He was excited to be able to go back to school today too but this morning I got a text saying he passed out in the bathroom and hit his head on the floor. He’s fine, awake now and reportedly completely normal (according to him), but his doctor advised him to stay home.

Idk what to do. I know his parents have him and are taking care of him but I’m so, so worried I can’t even sleep. He’s my entire world, the only person I have left. I can’t bear the thought of losing him and I’ve seen too many people come and go. Too many people fine one day then gone the next. I can’t have him leave too, I just can’t.

He says it’s probably from being dehydrated but idk. I can’t do anything but lie here and worry text after text, not knowing if he’s really okay or not. Bc it seems like he is, then something like this happens. What do I do? I feel completely lost, hopeless, useless and alone.

Someone please give me some advice because I really need it.