Advice

Hi there,

Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read my post.

It's a little lengthy but hear me out.

My fiancé and myself have been together going on 6 years.

When we started dating he had 90% custody of his only child to his ex wife.

She had been caught cheating multiple times and enough was enough for my partner (fair call)

Once she moved out she did not see her child for near on 6 months, he was 3 years old at the time.

Through the family law court the judge granted custody to my partner as she had willingly said in court she wanted to live her life and have fun.

She then saw her child every third weekend.

In the time we have been together she has had 2 engagements and most recently given birth to her second child to the man she is with now, they've been together roughly 2 years. Within weeks of giving birth she moved interstate.

6 months prior to her moving we allowed her to spend week on week off with her son as requested by him.

Since moving he has spent a total of 3 weeks there, one week of the school holidays each term.

His most recent trip she had taken him to a highschool (he is 11 and in year 6 this year) without prior discussions with us and has planted a seed that he should move up there to be with her. He had not mentioned this to us the entire week he had been back home until we received a message from his mother asking if we had a discussion about it. When we confronted him and asked what it was all about he cried. (understandable, I've been that child of divorce)

We then sat him down and explained he was a minor and that dad has had custody for 8 years and his entire support network is in his home state and getting so close to highschool its very important he maintain a healthy lifestyle here and continue his education in a private school system. (she wants to go public, not that I'm against it but he currently attends a private school)

Obviously this has hurt him as he misses his mother but can give us no other reason for wanting to move other than that.

I believe we are doing the right thing as we've been stable and consistent with his upbringing and believe this will put him further back. Let alone she has openly admitted she will not pay school fees as she cannot afford them so how can we trust he will be living with the essentials.

He is currently buried amongst blankets not wanting to talk to us. We've been polite and kind trying to explain our reason but any tips on how to deal with such an emotional roller-coaster would be greatly appreciated.