Gender Disappointment !

No bashing please!!

I am 20wks and yesterday I had my scan and I invited some friends over tonight to bring us colored cupcakes to surprise us! Now we have a beautiful almost 4 year old daughter. This is our second and last! Anyway...i look at my cupcakes and they are not the color i was expecting or wanted. Now I know deep down that I will love this child no matter what and will get excited eventually but right now in the moment I’m very disappointed. I feel like a horrible mother for even thinking that I could ever be disappointed in my child’s gender. I ruined their cupcakes cause I didn’t look happy or overjoyed and they all noticed! I feel awful! It was very anticlimactic! I shouldn’t be thinking these things!! Could someone please tell me if the only one or how to make the feeling of pure disappointment go away! Please help me!