I’m calling it rough, although i think it’s more abusive but i think I’m just numb and used to it that’s it’s my norm. We’ve been together 14 years, he’s been an alcoholic since day one, (runs in his family) when we were younger we’d go out and he’d ruin it almost everytime by causing drama or getting in fights or flirting with every women there. Then we got older ( and I just stopped wanting to! So avoid at all costs) and stopped going out, now he just gets drunk at home almost every night. And turns into such a dick!! Like from having tantrums throwing his dinner across the room, punching holes in the walls, breaking anything in his path. Being mean by saying things to me and our 4 year old, who is so aware of everything he knows when to steer clear of his dad when he’s had to many “daddy sodas”. I’m told almost daily I’m an idiot i can’t cook ( which I’ve basically just stopped cooking so I don’t have to hear it and or watch it gets thrown across the room, but then I’m also bitched at for not cooking!

He’s occasionally touched me, but grabbing my wrists or pushing me ripping my cloths but won’t touch my face!) he tells both kids (2nd is only 5 months) but telling them I’m a piece of shit mom and I do nothing! Really I don’t talk shit to the kids about him when I should! And says the guy who has never changed our 5 month olds diaper and has only feed him a bottle 2 times ever! He’s always threatening me he will win in court for custody etc.. “he who has the money wins” he makes a lot more money then I do.

Basically that’s just a very small glimpse of my daily life, I need to be done I need to stop giving him chances this is a horrible environment for our kids! Plus our 4 year old acts out showing the same anger he does it’s scares me!

But what am I supposed to do? We own a house together, I work for him! He owns my phone and finally after 14 years I bought my own car all in my name !! ( previous car in his name, he’d use it against me all the time I’d never be able to touch the car after he’d try to kick me out of the house, and one night he got so angry for I can’t remember why and went and stabbed all 4 tires! His car he had to buy new ones! But still wtf !)

How do women get out of bad situations with kids??? Where do I start? He’s going to make this impossible for me to leave! I don’t have family that has room for us, So that is not an option. How do you get your belongings when they won’t let let you? ( 14 years of stuff mixed together) know this will be honestly so bad if I truly get the balls to leave! But it’s really consuming me thinking about our life without him, how great it will be not dealing with that every day. But custody will be a another thing... he can’t be left alone with them when he’s drunk he leaves doors open, does all the shit above, forgets about our dog outside etc! Will the courts side with me, I have written journal entries and pictures of damages to our home he’s done the past two years, will that help me or “ he who has the money wins”

Any input from women who have dealt with crazy ass baby daddies and leaving please let me know!!! I have no one to talk to about this becuz I will not tell my family how bad it truly is it will be I told u so type of thing! And they really can’t help me anyways if they did know.

Tia so sorry long, wanted to give a short story so you could understand.