A year ago, 3 months after getting married, I told my husband I would like to get a new car. He had a 2015 truck and I had a 2008 car. We were both working stable jobs at the time making very good money, especially for a couple in our twenties. He did not have a truck payment as he was able to pay in full before we got married. He promised me that I would be next to get a new car and I was so excited. He was on the edge for a while about trading in his truck for another one but finally gave me the reassurance he was sticking with this one.

So when I finally started looking, he told me we could not afford a car payment over $155. Well I’m sure you all know that any newer car will be in the $300 range no matter how much money you put down. So I found a vehicle, 2011 suv, that met close to that $195. Not exactly “new” like my husband said but 3 years newer than my car then. So we got it and I was okay with it, it was a lot bigger.

But two weeks later my husband wanted to test drive a truck he found on autotrader. We stopped in and ended up staying there until closing and the salesman gave him a deal he couldn’t refuse. Gave him more than what he paid for in trade in value for his current truck and lowered the monthly payment for the newer 2017 truck he found. They gave him a $209 monthly payment and my husband was okay with it.

I so wanted him to have this dream truck of his, that I didn’t realize he wasn’t fair with me. So now instead of having a low car payment and no car payment, we both had $200 car payments of $400 total. My husband said we couldn’t afford more than $155! I confronted him that night and he said “I don’t know what to say.”

So basically I am still hurt by this action. He cheated me out of a new car because “we couldn’t afford it.” But somehow we could pay $400 for a newer truck and an older suv. We have fought many nights over this and he has even offered to trade in his truck to get me my dream car, that’s how sorry he is.

And I truly know he is sorry but that isn’t what I want. I wanted him to have his dream truck and I have my dream car. But with the $400 payments we are not looking to trade in our vehicles and add the loan on top of another. At this point, my sister is using my car for work and making the payments (as I quit working for a while due to difficulties in my pregnancy) but I just picked up a new job and will be starting work this Monday. I will be using the truck while my husband uses the work vehicle.

But I am still hurting 1 year later. And I cannot figure out why I can’t let it go. I don’t know if it’s because I feel cheated, lied to, or unworthy. But I am hurt seeing him drive his new dream truck, installing new parts, and talking about how much he loves it. I should be happy for him, right? Why am I so hurt still? I don’t even think it’s me not getting my dream car, I feel like it’s deeper than that but I don’t know how to let go. Please ladies, any advice would be great.

P.S. No rude or nasty comments I just want to find a solution to forgive and move on.