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This is the lowest that I have felt ever an I don’t think I’m strong enough anymore I cry daily I’m miserable an depressed. I don’t even recognize who I see in the mirror anymore an I have never hated myself more than I do now. I make myself sick the thought of being me I’m blessed to live another day I am TRULY blessed to have my beautiful daughter I spend all my time taking care of her an making sure she has everything she needs so I don’t have to think about being sad but during the night when everything is quiet an everyone is asleep it hits me pretty hard. Sometimes even during the day when I go to the bathroom I just cry an take a breathe an keep going it’s getting harder to do that lately I feel like everything is crashing down on me at once an I can’t hold it all together anymore. I’m trying so hard especially for my babygirl I want her to always see me smile my moms birthday is coming up soon I really wish she was here with us I don’t have family anymore the ones that I knew are all passed away now so it gets pretty hard when I need advice or even a hug from a familiar face because there isn’t one there an I have to pick myself up an be strong I think I’ve done a pretty good job at staying together so idk what’s happening now I feel like I’ve lost control over my own emotions an my body lately that no matter how hard I try I keep getting knocked down even harder I pray .. ALOT an nothing. I don’t have suicidal thoughts or anything I just feel like I’m drowning an trying to scream for help an I can’t breathe. Over the years it’s gotten worse an today i fell completely to the bottom.