Wanting a source of freedom
- I’m 19 years old I feel discouraged to have to come on here and say how I feel but I don’t have an outlet to express myself both my parents feel like I’m obligated to watch my younger siblings it’s three of them and it’s not fair neither of them never ask me do I wanna watch them and it’s like even if I say no they don’t even respect that my 20th birthday is coming up and 2 weeks prior I told my mom I had made plans and could she get them she basically got upset and told me my plans were more important than my siblings and I was selfish and that alone just sounded ridiculous what 20year old wants to stay in the house and babysit ?? so she basically disowned me and disrespected me saying I’m dead to her and calling me out of my name and saying once she come get her kids she won’t talk to me ever again and she she’s telling me happy birthday now because she won’t tell me on my birthday and saying she wants to fight me when she sees me , so fast forward to now my birthday is in a few days and she still hasn’t came and got them my dad brought them to his house 3weeks ago where I was at even though I voiced to him I didn’t wanna watch them when I asked him why he brought them even though I said no he said since I was there he thought no big deal and that got me upset because why do I have to plan my birthday around three kids ?? Why do I feel like I have three kids ?? Three responsibility’s??? Is what I asked my self while crying in confusion but this is an ongoing thing it’s stressing me out to the point where I’m not eating I’m not sleeping I have like panic attacks where I feel like I can’t breath and neither of them respect me saying “NO” I don’t know what to do I feel like running away from the both of them because I’m drained I’ve cried for a week straight because of the stress of wanting a source of freedom and not being able to get that I feel like you only get to live once and everybody once a grip of my life and I just want a grip of freedom feel free to leave opinions Thank you !
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