I have feelings for someone else... sos

[Confused]

Hello all,

I’m coming on here to try to find some help and advice from anyone who may be able to slap some sense into me. So just a little preface, I’ve been dating this guy for 6 years, we’re high school sweethearts and basically have spent every waking moment with each other. He’s the only man I’ve ever dated, slept with, basically been with at all! We have the same life goals, we think the same things, and recently we’ve been discussing settling down together.

However the past few weeks a guy that used to work at my job was put back on the schedule again. He had some issues with drug addictions in the past and was in rehab for a while (where he met his ex) and got clean and came back to work recently. When we work together time seems to fly and we talk about any and everything together. He recently opened up to me about a relationship (he was broken up with) a few months back. I was kind of taken aback that he felt comfortable enough to share this with me... anyways. We got onto talking about what we want from life and surprisingly our images of the future were near identical. He tells me he wants to travel, live in a tiny home, etc., all of these things I pictured myself doing as well. Anyways least to say after that I fell... HARD. He’s been on my mind constantly, I’ve even had a “dream” about him (you know what kind of “dream” I mean too). I’ve never even had a sex dream about my current boyfriend. I haven’t been able to NOT think about him even for an hour! He has literally always been on my mind. To make matters even more complicated a group of co workers and I decided to plan this beach trip for the summer and it may be at this guys beach house!

Now I want to say before anyone judges me that I am not a cheater. And I despise those who do (sorry not sorry). But I really really like this guy and I don’t know if throwing away 6 years of a relationship is worth it??? My mom even said the other night after I had an argument with my bf that she’s worried about my relationship because I’ve only dated one person ever. (This comment was completely out of the blue too I haven’t told ANYONE about the guy at work). So the fact that she is telling me what I already feel scares me... but I know I can’t have my cake and eat it too. If I left my boyfriend or even took a break I don’t think he’d ever love me again. And that scares the crap out of me. I guess I’m just looking for some advice... any advice I just don’t know what to do and I’m so upset about all of this...

***edit when I mean drugs I’m talking LSD, Ecstasy, Shrooms, Marijuana, Etc. (nothing hard like heroine, meth, cocaine, etc) not that I’m justifying behavior but basically just saying he was a party animal and that was all there was to it. When we’ve been talking recently he’s mentioned how he wants to settle down and how he’s done with that phase of life***