What Would You Do? *LONG READ*

So I'm feeling kinda conflicted. I'm an artist and there's this piece I really want to move forward with. It's been a few weeks since completing my last piece and I'm itching to start making again. Creative ideas don't come to me that often since my pieces take months on end to finish, I have to think long and hard before investing so much time and money. If I conceptualize a piece that means I'm very excited to work on it. Plus with my art being portrait base I take reference photos and to me it's a lot of work to be done before the piece even begins.

The problem is the piece I'm so hyped to work involves someone I'm no longer speaking to. The guy has admitted to having feelings for me that I don't reciprocate AT ALL, but that doesn't stop him from consistently flirting with me and saying out of pocket shit. It’s like he would say very cringey things to see if I suddenly fell head over heels with him. The first time we talked and then later met he made a horrible first impression but I tried to find something decent within him despite the overwhelming insecurity.

Plus he was friends with nearly all the local artists in our city and I thought if they could tolerate his need to paint himself as a pill-popping ”thug”, someone that’s sleeps with married women (or claims he has) and thinks he’s the best things walking, but ironically acts like a cry baby when you don't match his vibe or like him and purposely antagonizes people... then maybe I can find some sliver of tolerance. He had his moments where he would be funny and actually supportive but his overwhelming need to camouflage himself to the ideal person based on who he was hanging out with was disturbing.

Apparently, I couldn't tolerate him. He's a gigantic walking red flag. Getting tired of the cycle of his obvious unrequited feelings and awkward, uncomfortable flirting I addressed it head-on. He got really passive, embarrassed, and literally kept trying to make me shut up about his flirting making me feel uncomfortable. He didn’t want to hear my side or the reaction he caused, because it wasn’t important to him only his embarrassment of being denied was. I honestly feel bad for him but I couldn’t it keep up.

Despite all of this I don’t care to ever talk to him. But I really want to move forward with this piece. It’s crazy that after dealing with someone like him I’m still ok moving forward with this piece. In my eyes it has nothing to do with him and I easily separate the art from the person, I do it quite often actually. To me the subject in my art becomes a character who’s life I give substance to.

But my mom and friends don’t see it like that. They see it as him forming another link with me to stay in my life and to take advantage of and continue being a nuisance. Obviously that is something I don’t want, I feel like as long as I list him as the model there’s not much he can try to talk to me about. I feel really stubborn, but I can’t shake the excitement and the newness. I’ve considered re-casting someone as the subject but I literally created exactly what I’ve been envisioning for months now.

What would you do in this situation? Move forward with the piece or trash the idea? The reference photos and art are obviously my property, he has no claims over nothing.