Question: those with rainbows

I lost my first baby last summer at my 8 week appt when they told me the heartbeat must have stopped a few days before the appt. I was/am devastated. I am 8w 3d with our second, saw beautiful 170 bpm HB Monday. Our original due date is next Monday and we are taking the day off together. My question is, how do you handle the questions like how many kids do you have, and is this your first? This baby is not my oldest or first baby. He or she is in Heaven. I am not sure how to talk about this and I'm feeling like I need to "lie" to strangers not bc I'll make them uncomfortable...I don't care, but I worry about this new baby and their feelings. My sister when my mom explained her miscarriage to her, went on for years being depressed and feeling guilty that she "shouldn't be here" (no one told her that, it was her interpretation of the loss of our sibling who would've been born instead of her had he made it). I was really sad to learn she felt this way for a very long time. I know I'm worrying about this too much too early but I wanted to know what you all have done. I do not want this baby to feel guilty for existing like my sister did, and I don't want to make my child feel bad when someone asks is this your oldest if I answered no and went on about our baby in Heaven, when this child will (God willing) truly be our oldest on this earth. I just feel torn and guilty.