I need advice and to vent topic: mum and buying my first home

So im coming to the sad realisation that my mother doesnt want to live close by to me or my kids, not in the future or retirement etc. I always thought we would have a close relarionahip much like her and my nanas but I moved 5 hours away in 2011 and settled in the coast near the beach while she lives in a large city just outside town where properties are too expensive for me and always have been. where i live now i can afford to buy a 3-4 br home thats older but still in good condition and wouldnt need repairs etc, however I have 4 kids all different ages 11 -1 and sexes so spread out enough to need their own rooms now or soon. My mother owns her own home outright no mortgage. To achieve this she used some money from my grandparents will that was meant for me and my brothers. she also did the same when my great aunt passed and took my 10k. I have 55k in savings and my partner 20k. We found a huge house that would accomodate us all and in time both of my parents if they needed...I always imagined I would look after them as I am their oldest child. my brothers have 1. moved overseas to the US and 2. hasnt left the nest at 29. I have been on my own since 16 when i got my first place to escape my stepfather..... This house is a dream home. I joked to my mother that she could lend me 200k which is what I need to buy it and she said no way in hell. She took offense that I would ask. Its because the bank wont lend to,me as I am a SAHM and my partner can borrow the remaining amount we need .My dad isnt in a financial position to help with the loan himself so he asked my mum to do it and he promised to pay like he wanted to do this for us so much and help, and hes wise enough to realise the future but my mother screamed at him /insults etc and wants no part and told me she doesnt plan to ever live near me. now or close to the end... so here I am devastated that she doesnt really want to live life close to us all or ever but she talks of when my brothers have kids travelling to the US to help them etc... Do u think she has a favourite? I feel lost and can only buy a house just big enough for us and not big enough for anyone to eber stay or live too which were my thoughts im finding this amazing 6br home ..... Im literally going to start buying lottery tickets , hopefully my grandparents are looking out for me and the universe coz otherwise im stuffed.... BTW she carries on about when she dies we will all have a million dollars, but who cares i want my quality of life with my mother now grrrrr