PPD maybe idk. I just hope someone can relate

Day 3 after I had my daughter. My son is 19 months. I feel like I ruined all our lives. I feel like I ruined my sons life by bringing another kid in. I miss him. Even though we have spent lots of time together I just feel bad he has to share me and I just feel bad in general.

I’m a wreck. I know it’s only day 3 but I’m hysterical and don’t feel like I’ve bonded at al with this babe. She’s beautiful and so good and I’m meeting at her needs wonderfully and I just am having so much trouble.

I look at her and see my son at this size and am reminiscent for him. I finally told her I love her today and it still feels weird. I cried to her and said I’m sorry and I’m going to try to love her and I hope it comes with time but I’m just beside myself.

When I had my son we were in the hospital for 5 days and with my daughter I was home within 6 hours. I think that the extended stay in the hospital (whole was awful) meant that when I got home I almost had a one week old whereas right now I feel like I should have a one week old and of course, she’s not even 72 hours old yet.

I know it’s only day 3 but is this normal? I feel like having 2 babies was a mistake right now I’m so overwhelmed and I know this is irrational but I honestly am just feeling so guilty to everyone in my family and for everything I do or think j regarding my daughter and frustrated and mad and sad and I just need to hear someone out there understands.