I feel so much anger towards my bf

If you asked me a few years ago if I wanted to marry him, my answer would be a definite yes. Now, he’s mentioned getting married, but idk if I would say yes. The thought of it gives me a pit in my stomach and i don’t know if I see a future with him anymore, but I don’t want to let him go either. We have a 6 month old together and I feel so overwhelmed because I’m a full time college student and I take care of our son 24/7 while he goes and lifts and plays video games. He doesn’t get home until 8 sometimes 9 and then goes straight to video games. My son wakes up for the day at 5:30 in the morning and doesn’t want to go back to sleep. I’m beyond tired and fell asleep pumping the other night. I couldn’t even stay up for 30 minutes to pump. When My son falls asleep is the only time I can work on my assignments because the quizzes are an hour and a half long and I never know when he’s gonna go into a fit. I don’t get to bed until 1 or later. I can’t even have a phone call with a friend because that’s when he decides to talk to me or ask me something and I can’t listen and answer to two people at a time. He also knows I’m on the phone. So I can’t understand him and he gets mad and then thunks me multiple times on the head or slaps my arm because I was “ignoring” him. I feel like I can’t even do anything as simple as a phone call when he can be out all day and not help. He acts like I owe him sex, but I have no energy at all and that’s the last thing on my mind. The other day he said I either had to suck his dick or get on it or he’ll choose for me. I told him no that I’m tired and not in the mood and then he started counting down. I thought he was playing at first, but he wasn’t. He tried to take my pants off so I crossed my legs to try and prevent him to, but I wasn’t strong enough. He didn’t listen and continued anyways. I feel so resentful towards him and disgusted. It’s like everything he does just angers me. I know the simple solution would be to leave, but it’s so much more difficult than that. I do love him, and I don’t know if I want to be with him. It’s one thing to say I’m gonna leave and another to actually do it. I’m just struggling so much. He’s not all bad and I would miss him. He just doesn’t understand and I’ve tried talking to him and he says he’ll try harder to help out but it’ll be a few days and it’s back to the same thing