I really don’t need the negativity.

I’m starting to feel really depressed, and I really feel helpless... My sex life was pretty much non existent for years, until I found out my SO was looking at stuff on Snapchat, and IG I’m assuming? I’m not sure where he find these girl who perform and make videos, but he lied to me the whole time. When I found pictures on our computer of screens shots of girls being penetrated and everything, he convinced me it wasn’t him, and I thought it was our room mate, or convince me that I didn’t see him looking at something I was really positive I saw... After a fight he admitted to all of it, and I’m really hurt because this effected my relationship and our sex for years!!!!! And I thought he was stressed or tired... It doesn’t make sense either, because there is nothing those girls have that I don’t, so he could ask my for videos, pictures ect but instead I he was looking at other woman..

He convinced me that he didn’t want to lose me and he was done doing that, well how do I believe him? He was doing it right under my nose, and it was more like a routine. He woke up after having sex with me and I caught him looking at somebody else’s vagina, and this was a few weeks after I mc, so the reason we were having sex before was because we were ttc...

Then after I caught him he had sex with me all the time and was always horny, and after a month now he’s not trying to have sex with me, very much and I confronted him about if he was doing other stuff, and he said “sure” and he doesn’t really deny doing it, he just gets quite, but it raises suspicion because before I really found out anything he kept asking me “who are you talking to?” Like suspecting I’m cheating or something, and it was getting annoying because I wasnt talking to anybody. Well now he’s doing this again “who are you talking to” “what are you on your phone doing”