My Final Rainbow- What a Journey

Anyone who has heard bad news at the anatomy scan knows that the fear never goes away in subsequent pregnancies. Three children later and I’m still petrified of that MFM unit. I sometimes wish for the peaceful naïveté of those who view the anatomy scan as a determination of gender.

The tech started the scan quietly, and then said baby wasn’t in a good position so she’d come back in a few minutes. A few minutes became over ten and my anxiety kicked in. My heart raced with a certainty that she’d come back with a somber-looking doctor behind her...

Did I make a mistake coming without my husband?

But she returned alone and finished the scan. He has “a beautiful heart”. The burden melted off my shoulders. I walked to my car and the sun was shining. I knew in that moment that life unfolds in a necessary order- but if you told me several years ago that I would feel the way I do now, I wouldn’t have believed it.

So I treated myself to some new dresses! I am looking forward to my last pregnancy, a summer one, with sundresses, and hopefully, less stress than the previous years bestowed.

Mothers of rainbows and angels: Buy the dress. Take the pictures. Be proud. Invest in your faith. Even if it takes getting used to. When I was pregnant with my first rainbow I didn’t take pictures. I couldn’t feel relief until she was in my arms. And now she’s the one taking the photos! And she’s so excited to meet this baby. Full circle. 💫